It takes a dream to build a business. But turning your dream into reality? That takes reality testing. Here are six reality checks to keep you on track.
- In spite of your best intentions you will make mistakes. To the best of your ability, which may sometimes be slim, welcome these occasions as an opportunity to let go of perfectionism. Pause to review your offer to your clients. Are you positioning yourself as a know-it-all or as a responsive partner and learner? Are you putting yourself on a pedestal? Reflect on the distinctions among honesty, reliability, and perfection. Meditate on the difference between apology and accountability. Muse on the difference between significance and integrity.
- Things go ”wrong.” I put “wrong” in quotes because stumbling blocks teach us things we need to know in order to serve and thrive. Hey, I’d rather learn without failing too, but however the lesson happens, there you are. Every time you look with humility and trust for your personal lesson, you are helping to create the possible dream. (Note: Sometimes the lesson is simply to let go of your idea of what should have happened. Lessons are not code for “There’s something wrong with you.”
- Not everyone wants or needs what you have. That’s good news because odds are that you can’t respond to everyone anyway. Cultivate the courage, integrity, and clarity to listen deeply to prospective clients and decline to work with those whom you are not ideally suited to serve. Ask questions, especially scary ones (Can you afford this? Do you have any reservations? What will it take for this to be a good investment for you?). Ask first; sell later. Actually, when you do this, the selling takes care of itself.
- Customers have bad days, too. Some times they’re going to take it out on you. That doesn’t mean you have to slink home licking your wounds, nor does it mean you get to strike back. It certainly doesn’t mean you have to accept abuse. When you feel unfairly used, take a few deep breaths, notice what you wish would be different, and remember that we’re all human. Maybe it’s time to do some boundary maintenance. Are you pretending that you need to please everyone or that everyone needs to like you in order for you to thrive? Look to yourself, not because you are to blame, but because you are the only one whose behavior you can manage.
- Sometimes whole systems go wrong or you find out too late that a new project was not quite ready for prime time. At times like this you get to practice being available and responsive to customer needs while also taking care of yourself. Sometimes you won’t (yet) know how to solve or resolve the problem and you may resent the time you’re using to reassure clients instead of getting things on track. Learn to say, “I don’t know, and I do care, and I will get back to you as soon as I can.” Practice saying it with dignity, conviction, and patience. Take some time to wonder what you would need to believe in order for all of this to feel right and true.
- Owning a business can be isolating. Many entrepreneurs are natural soloists. That doesn’t mean we don’t need or want self-employment support, though we may be the last to realize it. Spend some time wondering why other people might want you to thrive. Let your imagination run free as you speculate on what kinds of collaboration could work for you. Turn your complaints about networking into dreams of your ideal support system. What would your business look and feel like if you knew you did not have to have it all together because there was lots of help at hand?
The secrets to creating the possible dream all involve accepting what is, which includes accepting the support that is everywhere around you and accepting your own desire to build a business that adds real value in the world and allows you to thrive. Some days it will be easier than others to believe that reality and your dream can co-exist. But if you persist with humility, passion, and trust, your dream will teach you how it wants to be made real.
Image credit: Paigggeyy
About Molly Gordon
